i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
