How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
