just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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