She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
