Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
