Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
