Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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