she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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