There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
