READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
