I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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