doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
