are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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