Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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