How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
