Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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