We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
