I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We have started to decorate penises.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
