all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
