I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
