So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize