Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
