I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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