Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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