omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
foreskin is a definite game changer
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
