my phone needs a breathalizer
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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