Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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