Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Porn is love you can see.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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