Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
