I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
