Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
