How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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