but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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