I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
