Rock
Scissors
Fuck
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
