i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
