belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
