quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
