I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
