Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
