I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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