you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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