thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
