I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
