just tell him i said nine months
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
