I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Holy sore nipples Batman
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I love you.
Bad choice
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
