I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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