it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you would pick up someone in the library
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
