I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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