My room smells like vodka and shame
i just had sex bonerless
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
