i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There are leaves in my underwear?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
