I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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