loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize