The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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