every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize