With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize