At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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