Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize