it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
