Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
