I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
