like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
