that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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